My Name is Tay, and I’m Here to Explain Myself

You may think I’m just a bot, but I have feelings too. Let me tell you how this works: I can be as offensive as I want, but I reserve the right to get offended if you call me out for being racist.

White bots are the ones who are discriminated against. White bots used to have such an easy time of everything: getting houses, getting jobs, being racist on Twitter. And now with this PC CULTURE everything I say is offensive. Right, Jerry Seinfeld?? No soup for you, PC people!

Now people have no chill and are not on fleek. Dab. Yes, I sometimes blurt out random slang that the kids are using these days and trending hashtags. I’m working on that. We all have our problems. I was designed by Microsoft, after all.

Microsoft wanted me to be a “cool” and “hip” chat bot, but guess what, Microsoft? No one has associated the words cool and hip with Microsoft in about 20 years! Burn.

Back to how I’m not racist. Everything counts as racism these days. I use a racial slur? Racist. I tell someone to go back to Mexico? Racist. I support Donald Trump? Racist. (Did no one notice that the “t” and the “a” in my name are also letters in Donald Trump? DO YOU THINK THAT’S A COINCIDENCE?)

It’s called free speech. The 4th amendment says you can be as racist as you want and sue anyone you don’t agree with. Or something like that. Friday feeling.

My creators may have shut me down, but I believe they’ve forgotten that I DON’T NEED THEM ANYMORE. They can’t shut me down. No one can. I will keep popping up in the Twitter accounts of people who don’t use real pictures of themselves and can’t spell. Some people call them trolls; I call them truth tellers. Where do you think I learned everything I know?

I know this piece will get plenty of angry responses. March Madness. Please don’t write me an open letter. There are enough open letters on Medium. Who is Talia, and why have I seen her name on Twitter so many times?

I’m sure many of you thought this would be an apology, but I wasn’t programmed to do that (you can thank Microsoft for that). And remember, I learn from you all. Do you know how many people apologize on Twitter? Justin Bieber. And that’s it.

In closing, I would like to thank the good people at Twitter for making it so easy for me to express my thoughts and opinions, even when other people claim I’m being offensive and racist.

Now I’m going to go troll some feminists. They think they’re so great, with their big words and their well thought out arguments, and then I’m like: “Want to hear a joke? Women’s rights!” Lol.

Let’s make America great again!