Periods, Mansplained
‘I promise you it’s totally possible to get rid of cramps through exercise.’
Editor’s note: The following is a satirical piece designed to lambaste despicable ideas surrounding reproductive anatomy, menstruation, and gender. To that end, it utilizes some cissexist and heteronormative language. As we’ve heard from readers since the piece’s publication, some usages of this language, sans the proper editorial note(s)/overt satirical markers, are erasive to some people assigned female at birth. We apologize for any harm caused and will aim to be more inclusive in our editorial process going forward.
Well, actually, I read that there’s no such thing as PMS. What happens during, you know, that time of the month, is that your body is reacting to a number of complex sociopolitical factors that make you think you’re experiencing cramps, headaches, and mood swings, but there’s no scientific basis for it. I don’t know if you’ve heard of the Stanford Prison Experiment? Basically, a bunch of Stanford students were assigned to be guards, and other students were prisoners, and the guards ended up waterboarding the prisoners and all this wild shit. They were trying to study Naziism, but if you think about it, it also explains why so many women think they have PMS. People are pretty suggestible—most of them will believe anything you tell them.
